Thursday February, 24th

Last minute shopping for cruise.  I forgot my brown shoes at home, so I needed to get a pair to take with me.  I asked my Cousin Dominik to take me to the mall, a place to which I NEVER go willingly.

We crawl into his manly Chevy Silverado work truck and drive to the Oaks Mall and park near the Macy's entrance.  That means they we have to walk past the cosmetics and fragrance counters to get into the main section of the mall. 

Dominik, at 6'9" is hulk-like being.  As we pass through the "smell" zone he stops, looks at a sample bottle on the counter and gives himself a little spritz.  I look at him and say "dude, wasn't that women's perfume?"  He looks at me...looks back at the bottle...then at me and says, "Oh sh*t, No way!"

We exit Macy's looking for a store that sells reasonably priced men's shoes.  Not an easy task.  There are about a hundred women's shoe stores and another hundred that sell sneakers, but men's shoes?...not so much!

We walk the entire length of the lower level, ascend the escalator and begin to walk the upper level, before finding what I need.  Within five minutes, I've picked, tried on, paid for and left with new shoes.

Heading back to Macy's, we pass the Yankee Candle store.  He stops and says, "Hold on, I want to get a candle for the house.   Something to cover up the dog smells".  We walk into the store and the clerk asks if she can help.  He says he's looking for something "woodsy!"  She begins to open jars and lets him smell then turns to let me take a sniff.  She picks up another, puts it under his nose then holds it out for my approval.  He migrates to the ones that smell like food and settles on a cinnamon stick scent.  The clerk bags the purchase, but not before she tells us that their "scented hand lotions are on sale today".

We leave the store and I look at Dom and say "Thanks a lot man!"  He looks at me, puzzled, and says "What?"  To which I reply, "You walk into a candle store smelling of women's perfume, looking for something woodsy.  She thinks we're a gay couple!"  His response..."Oh sh*t, No way!"   Yeah! Way!