My dear wife is always supportive of just about everything I do. She is also very complimentary and knows how to stroke my ego. A couple of weeks ago, while watching Jeopardy, they started announcing the upcoming Jeopardy On-Line Test. She looked at me and said "You should do that". "What?" I said. She said, "Take the Jeopardy test. You sit here and answer all the questions, you should take the test."
Being well aware of the fact that I have tons of useless information just bouncing around the inside of my head, it might, just once, prove useful instead of annoying. Feeling all puffed up and probably now needing the next larger hat size, I log onto Jeopardy.com to register for the test. A fairly simple process and you even get to take a three question sample test. The included tutorial tells you everything you need to know and explains that passing the test is no guarantee you will be selected to appear on the show. But we all know better. By now, I'm figuring that if I pass the test, I better drop a few pounds and get some new clothes that look good on camera.
Upon registering, I was given a choice of test dates; February 8th, 9th or 10th. We were going to be busy on Thursday the 9th, so I picked Friday the 10th for my test date. I'm now in position to become the next Ken Jennings...O.K. I know I'm not that smart...But 3rd place gets you $1000. Not bad!
8:00 P.M. on Friday February 10th will be my chance to shine!
Well, by now, some of you have already figured out how this is going to end.
- 4:00 I start getting nervous.
- 4:30 Judy leaves...I'm making her nervous too!
- 6:00 I get a splitting headache and take a couple aspirins
- 7:00 I turn on Jeopardy for inspiration
- 7:25 Stomach gurgling...spend the next 10 minutes in the "Throne Room"
- 7:40 Time to log-in to the test page
- 7:45 Still trying to log in
- 7:50 Can't access the log in page...nerves are getting rattled
- 7:55 Five minutes before the test begins...still can't get in...panic is setting in!
- 7:56 Quickly return to instructions page to verify info
- 7:59 Realization that today is Friday, February 11th! The test was yesterday.
- 8:01 Beer!
- 9:15 Judy returns...I explain...she gets hysterical.
And the Final Jeopardy clue is...This guy can't read a calendar, and thinks he can get on Jeopardy.
The question...Who is me?
2 comments:
I just can't leave you alone!
idiot savant n. , pl. , idiot savants . An intellectually disabled person who exhibits extraordinary ability in a highly specialized area.
I am being nice here, I put the savant in! lol
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